Is there anyone out there who enjoys sadness or depression? I hope no one. Everyone likes to be happy, everyone wants to be happy but, yeah you guessed it, everyone is NOT happy.
So how to be happy? Did your school or your college teach you that? Is this the kind of discussion you have with your family or your friends, ever?
What Makes Us Happy?
Some say it’s those internal feelings that keep you happy. But hey, feelings keep on changing all the time, right? The person who’s making you feel happy today might become your biggest pain in the ass tomorrow.
Think about it patiently. That’s exactly what is lacking in this fast-paced world today. We don’t want to stay with a problem long enough. We act as if we already know everything.
Seriously, this is the biggest problem. Even if you have everything in the outside world, but you are not happy, then what’s the use of any of those things, right? On the flip side, even if you don’t have anything but you are internally in a state of bliss, then which one would you choose?
It really is quite an art, to be HAPPY!
Sometimes, people feel a bit hesitant to express their happiness, thinking that it won’t last forever, or someone’s evil eye will curse them with some black magic in their lives. I mean, seriously? There already are enough people in pain and misery. And this world doesn’t need any more pain.
Why don’t we understand this? What kind of people do we need in society? Those who spread gloominess around or those who spread happiness? It is kinda self-explanatory.
It has become a habit for us to just see problems all the time. We all observe the wrongdoings all the time, but if something good happens then we tend to overlook it or underappreciate it.
We will always remember the one bad thing our neighbor did but will forget the 100 good things he did for us. And don’t even let me start about the news channel and media companies.
According to them, the world just can’t get any worse and this is the worst time to live in. The result of all this is that our minds have become suspicious of anything and everything.
PAUSE AND LOOK AROUND
Even if a person is genuinely trying to help us, we start seeing an ulterior motive behind his every action. Try staying away from media/news for a week or so, and then go around and see the world, it will be a completely different place for you.
You will see the innocence in people’s eyes. You will realize that every living being, wants to be happy (in different ways) and is not looking for any kind of trouble and is actually no different from you.
Everyone is just trying to crawl out of their respective situations, trying to be happy, trying to resolve their problems. Sometimes it is our own thinking which is evil. Now, why is our thinking bad? Because of the society.
Let’s understand this slowly.
A single person is affected by the whole society. And the whole of society is affected by the actions of a single person.
You cannot change what anyone else is doing, but you have full autonomy over yourself. If you can change yourself completely, then the people associated with you will start to change and so will society, eventually.
We also need to come out of the illusion that I will be happy when society becomes perfect. That’s not gonna happen anytime soon.
The world is gonna stay the same it already was.
Earlier there were some good people and bad people, and today also there are some of both the kind, which is very likely to remain in the future too. But remember, the good is always much more than the bad. If it was the opposite, then you probably wouldn’t have been alive to read this.
So, something good is happening somewhere or the other. When we look at things this way, we start noticing all the great things happening around us which were before invisible to the eye.
The more terrible things you see, the sadder you will become, and the more negativity you will pass on to the people around you which will ultimately spiral into a more hellish reality.
Similar is the spiral of the good. So, ultimately you have to decide which cycle you wanna peddle.
People nowadays literally compete in the competition titled “who’s the sadder person?”. They don’t stop showing off how big of a shithole they are in. They have come up with theories that if they share their problems with others the sadness gets divided, which is BS.
It’s like adding gasoline to FIRE.
What happens in most cases is that you start with your problems only to discover that now you both are competing like anything to see who has the bigger problem.
They feel immense pride if they convince the other person that they have the “bigger issue”. This is actually their EGO talking. People think EGO is only when a person is narcissistic or can’t stop complimenting himself.
But hey, all the talks related to “I, me and myself”, will come under the radar of EGO, doesn’t matter if it is something good or bad. The even more interesting part is that no one is actually interested in someone else’s problems. 80% of the people won’t care and 20% will be glad that you have them.
The more you talk about your problems the bigger and bigger it will get.
The Current Scenario
Let’s just dive right into the root cause of it, and once you grab it then you can stay in the state of happiness forever and the sad phase will be the temporary one. Right now, it’s the opposite. The state of happiness is a temporary one.
Like a friends’ get together makes you happy, watching the sunset at a hill station makes you jovial. But it comes and goes, it doesn’t stay for long.
And then we try to be happy by remembering all those experiences. And then we try to be happy by reminiscing about how we used to remember the experiences that made us happy.
Then after some time, you get a new experience and the whole effing loop keeps on repeating itself over and over again. Why is this happening? So, there are basically two ways to live.
One is to consider that you are absolutely different from this whole world, nature, God, and everything.
I am this person, that profession; I wanna do this this this, I have x,y,z problems, I am unfortunate, and blah blah blah. This is how most of us are living our lives.
The more you consider yourself different from the UNIVERSE the more morose you will be.
(To consider that you are different in a particular way, like identifying your skills, or being different in your style of work is another thing. I am not talking about this.)
Take it this Way
We have legs and hands. Are they different or the same thing? Surely they are different in size and shape, but for you are they actually different? Or take another example, you all must have experienced it at some point in your life, what do you do when you bite your tongue with your teeth by mistake?
Do you break the teeth because it’s different? Of course not! Because both the tongue and the teeth belong to us. But they also look different and have space between them and aren’t similar in any way.
Just like that, all the bodies in this world are actually connected and are a part of this nature. Our bodies are made up of nature itself. Is this a belief or a fact? Can you live without the air you breathe, the water you drink, and the food you eat? Why don’t we then see this fact? Why do we consider other bodies who are different in shape and size different from us?
(To know more about this, you can watch CONNECTED, which is a documentary on Netflix that will surely make you understand the depth of what I am trying to say here)
Because we are busy doing things which we think will make us happy. We never question if it would really make us happy or not!
We are all actually a small part of this giant web of the world, or in the words of Paulo Coelho, we are all a part of the soul of the world (amazing book btw, The Alchemist, affiliate link).
We are all scientifically and spiritually so connected to each other, that even if we want to, we can’t separate ourselves from this universe. And the people who try to, are the ones who can’t get away with misery.
Start Observing NATURE
Go for a walk in your nearby park or something. It can be for as small as 5 min but do inculcate this habit to connect with nature at least once a day. Once you make this a routine, then it will be hard for you to leave.
Start small, but take the first step. I myself go for a jog or something for at least 30 min a day. What I do, is first I start by some stretches, then start walking slowly, and then slowly and steadily I increase my pace. Then after 15-20 min, I find myself in a quiet spot and just standstill.
Observing my breath & heartbeat, feeling the oneness.
Feel your breath, the fresh oxygen coming from the trees around you. Look at the sky, the clouds changing their shapes, birds flying high with grace. Touch the leaves, and smell the fragrance of flowers. Listen to the sweet melody of insects and other animals around.
After all this, “I really think to myself, What a Wonderful World”.
The More Connected you are to Nature the Better you will Feel
If today we are not feeling good, then this is one of the biggest reasons. We are completely disconnected from our mother nature.
If you can’t love the one thing that’s keeping you alive, the thing that doesn’t ask for anything in return, that doesn’t participate in wars, that always look after you; then my friend you are already dead.
This is the first step, to living your life to the fullest. You will start feeling that connection. Nature, God, and us—we are all actually the same part of the cloth. God is the source of this creation, you are made up of God. (may sound weird to you but it’s true)
Take An Example
Take a mud pot, for instance. What is it made of? Mud.
Now according to the current analogy, you will say that the potter, who made the pot, is the God of the pot. These are the concepts that we apply in the real-life, right?
Here we separated all the 3; the potter, the pot, and the mud.
But if we look closely, then actually mud is the true God of the pot. Without mud, there would be no pot. Now comes the potter, isn’t he also made up of mud?
So, if it was not for the mud, then the potter wouldn’t be here. There has to be a source for everything. Similarly, the source of humans, the source of nature, and even the source of God are not different from you. Everything is inside you.
Food For Thought
If we humans are not here, then even nature is of no use. If there is no one to experience the beauty of the earth, then is it of any use to anyone? (Just like without you guys, this blog will be useless.)
What’s a universe without life? What’s life without the universe?
So, don’t look at it as two different entities, they are the two sides of the same coin. Life is not happening to you; it’s happening for you! Now some of you might say that “Oh nature hasn’t been fair to me or the world hasn’t been exactly sunshine and rainbows”.
You see all these things that are happening like this are acting according to their nature. Whatever you are doing all day, you are acting as per your nature only.
Who Shapes One’s Thinking?
Now why some people’s thinking become so corrupted that they actually become a liability for society? How does a particular type of thinking take shape? Does a new-born baby have any kind of thinking?
There is no language only, so forget about thinking. He is just doing things, there’s no good or bad for him. If a cat kills and eats a mouse, then there’s no good or bad, it is all a part of nature. They both are acting according to their respective nature.
Coming back to the previous question, how does a new-born with no thinking become a murderer or some kind of a criminal in the future? Was this kind of thinking made on its own? Did he make it himself?
Well, obviously not quite! Whatever he has experienced so far, whatever knowledge and information that has been fed to him, in whatever ways, becomes the base of this kind of thinking.
And how did he acquire his knowledge? SOCIETY!
Society played a major role in shaping such kind of thinking. He had no proper education, and he lived in a slum, so the people he was surrounded with, weren’t exactly kind to him.
He has experienced both mental and physical abuse, which welded him into who he is today. So, if you actually wanna blame anyone, you can blame society.
But now, who makes a society? WE ourselves. Like I said before, what you do, affects the whole society, and the whole of society affects people like him. You must be familiar with the quote, “Walk a mile in my shoes, before judging me”. But who has the patience to do that in today’s world!
So, what do we do instead? We blame the government, the criminal’s parents, and the society but in no way would we ever question ourselves. “What did I do to improve society?” should be the question we all must ask ourselves if we really wanna bring a change!
The moment you stop blaming others and start looking into yourself, then that’s the beginning of your spiritual path. That will be the first step to experience that oneness, love, and bliss.
The moment you stop differentiating the teeth from your tongue, you will experience real HAPPINESS. The moment you start seeing your own self in other people’s eyes, you will experience real LOVE.
Just like electricity going through the bulb is experienced as light and the same electricity going through a fan is experienced as motion. The electricity remains the same. The flow of electrons is the same. It just appears to be different through different tools.
Similarly, the thing that is running inside all of us is actually the same, and we are just expressing ourselves differently. As long as you are stuck to “I, me and myself” and “I am this body”, sadness will follow you like your own shadow everywhere.
There is no technique or mantra here. Just plain, simple reality.
When you understand this not just as a theoretical concept, but at an experiential level; suffering will cease to exist, and all that will remain will be everlasting happiness.
Before your nationality, your gender, your race, your profession, your relationships; you are LIFE. A life that’s no different from anyone else. That means whatever is happening anywhere in this universe is not different from me but actually a part of me only.
“Real happiness is not based on what you do, but who you really are!”