The Best Way to Stop Negative Thoughts
All right, so sometimes you must have noticed that a certain negative thought comes into our mind which is really hard to forget as it kinda gets stuck in there forever.
It keeps on pestering us again and again, which makes us quite uneasy and apprehensive, and we wanna get rid of that negative thought as soon as possible.
This predicament has two solutions basically.
The Temporary Solution
One is as soon as that thought comes into your mind, you divert your attention to something else. You know like watching a movie, reading a book or my blog, going out with friends, and so on.
But these all are temporary solutions to a fairly permanent problem. As soon as you stop doing the particular activity, the thought that was making you uncomfortable (it can be related to money, health, relations, etc), would come back again.
The Permanent Solution To Counter Negative Thoughts
It’s Simple. To go to the root cause of that conundrum. That’s the best possible way there is out there. But we all know this, still, we are bugged by stress and anxiety.
If you can analyze the problem completely, assess the root cause of it, see exactly what the problem is, and if you can either leave it or solve it, then there is no problem.
Let me give you an example. If you are really attached to someone who’s very dear to you, and you love that person unconditionally, and by some chance, you two get separated (for whatever reasons). Feels relatable?
It’s very general. Take the worst-case scenario and say the person is no more. Now, what will you do in such a situation? How will you get rid of the negative thoughts then?
The thought would always remain there and you won’t be able to just forget it all of a sudden. Temporary solutions are always there but like I said they are ‘temporary’.
In such situations, you need to patiently ask yourself, who’s actually becoming miserable? A simple question but it does require some amount of courage from the inside along with an open mind.
A ‘Different’ Thinking
You need a different type of thinking to contemplate this way, a different route from all the clutter everyone is just stuffing in, without questioning anything. You don’t need to be a blind sheep by just following the crowd.
Ok so once you question yourself, the answer you will most probably get is, “OF course me!! I am becoming morose, who the hell else?!”Now, who is the “me” here? Are you referring to your body? Is the body becoming morose? Who are you, actually?
THINK… ASK YOURSELF!!
Can the body be sad? The body can suffer from pain, that’s understandable but can it ever go through depression? The answer is, it can’t be.
There isn’t any way to make your body depressed. And the fun part is we all refer to our body as “me”. We think we are this body. So now who’s actually becoming sad when my body is fine?
Is it the Mind that’s taking the toll?
Ok, now some people will come up with the mind. “MY mind is becoming sad.” Can the brain be sad? Try opening one and see exactly where it is becoming sad.
What does the mind mean? Memories.
Without memories what is left of the mind? You can’t think about anything without memories. There can’t be any thoughts without memories.
There is nothing other than a bunch of thoughts that can be labeled as a ‘mind’. Savvy? No thoughts would ultimately mean ‘no mind’.
The Fuss About Memories
So, thoughts come from memories, and how exactly are these memories formed? By recording whatever experiences we go through, right? That’s what a memory is. Pretty straightforward, eh.
So, who’s turning sad? Is it the memories? Well, can they really become sad? We should at least know that who exactly is becoming sad, otherwise, what’s the point?
Makes sense, right? I mean is there even something or someone that’s actually becoming sad or is it just an illusion? Maybe whatever I am saying makes sense or is utter shit.
What I am basically trying to say is that MAYBE there actually isn’t anything inside you that’s becoming sad. So, tell me in the comments section what do you think is actually going on here?
Let’s take this one step further. What’s the closest relationship in this world? Let’s take a mother-child relationship. One of the most intimate relationships (well, in a general way).
The kind of attachment a mother has for her newborn baby supersedes any other kind of attachment. Why? Because that child is attached to the closest possible way from the body of the mother or the feeling of “I, me, mine”.
The boyfriend doesn’t come out of his girlfriend’s body. But the baby literally exited out of his mother’s body. So, for the mother, her baby is just an extension of “I” (her). For her, the baby is a part of her.
A Hypothetical Situation
Now just assume hypothetically, the newborn baby couldn’t survive for long. And the mother is tormented. So again, is it her body from which the baby came, that’s going through the emotions?
It’s the mother’s feelings related to the child that is causing this, right? But here the mother is considering her body as “hers”. We all command a certain sense of ownership on this property aka ‘body’.
We think we own the body. The obvious question that comes to the mind is that what exactly is there in this body that is actually “ours”? Keep it simple, what’s this body made up of?
We eat food, drink water which in turn makes up our body. 70% of our body is water. This is absolutely scientific, nothing theoretical or mystical here.
Nature is Us
So, is the water yours? Of course not, the water belongs to nature. The food you eat also comes from nature, which is again not yours.
99% of the processes that run your body are involuntary or out of your control like breathing, digestion, etc. Even your breath, the most significant aspect of keeping the body alive is not in your hands. You don’t control your heartbeat; you don’t control digestion; you don’t control your nervous system.
So, who does it belong to? You can call it nature or GOD.
Now the concept of God also has to be made clear here. It’s not some superpowerful or mystical human sitting somewhere far far away who is controlling all of us like finger puppets. If this were the case, he would have corrected all the problems of this world with a snap of his fingers.
This pretty much establishes the fact that there is nothing in your body that is actually yours. In fact, if nature stops supporting your body, be it on any level; food, air, digestion; the body will cease to exist.
This body is dependent on nature, not the other way around. Nature existed long before the arrival of humans and will continue to exist long after we have all gone and settled on Mars (All thanks to Elon).
Now if there’s nothing in the mother’s body that she can call hers, then how does the baby that came out of it, belongs to her? Think about it. Then this means that all the errors start from this misconception that ‘I am this body’. That is not who you are!
Who We Actually Are?
If you have the courage to put a question mark on this grand illusion, then this can solve an enormous amount of your problems. Or you can always blindly follow the masses (where sometimes m is silent).
If you can just imagine for once that you are actually IN the body, instead of BEING the body, then what’s the problem? If you start questioning like this step by step, then slowly and gradually all your problems will start fading away, once and for all.
Do you know the biggest sin that one can ever commit in this world? To capture this wonderful tool called the body and misinterpret it as “mine”, which actually belongs to nature. Because of this, people suffer all their life. It’s bitter but it’s true.
So, leave this body on the goodwill of nature or God. Let them handle it. Just SURRENDER it. (Now, this doesn’t mean you just go and sit and lie down in a forest and go to sleep.)
Whether the body lives or dies, it’s in his hand. Everything is in his hand. So now what’s the fear? This is real devotion. Absooooolute surrender. Not just for show, but actually from the inside; this can help you get rid of the negative thoughts.
Or keep on doing what everyone is doing. Keep assuming you are your body and keep solving problems till eternity. Try keeping your body young forever, try making your body immortal.
This is spirituality. Asking this one simple question, “Who am I?” Whenever you are sad, immediately question yourself, “who’s going through the pain?” It’s not the body, but who’s attached to the situation that goes through the pain.
Peeling the Layers Off To Get Rid of Negative Thoughts
If a girlfriend dumps her boyfriend, then the bf will feel the pain, not the body. But he’s not just a bf, he’s a guy first and the guy won’t feel the pain. The thought that “I am this body” gets manifested in the center which is not the reality. And if it is, then prove it.
Fire is hot. It burns. This is a fact. A reality. But this is not the reality from any angle that ‘I am this body’. This is nothing but stupidity. The body is an awesome instrument through which you see, hear, speak, listen, and do another 112 things.
If you say you are the body then that means until you drink the water, you are not the water, and the second you drink it, the water becomes a part of you. The moment you excrete it, it becomes waste which has got nothing to do with you.
Really? What the hell are we doing? Consequently, now if the body doesn’t feel the pain, then what about emotions and feelings? Let’s extend the previous example only.
A Layer Deeper
So, there’s a bf who was living with his GF, they were together for 4 years and are now separated. Now, what are the emotions? Who is this bf first of all? (I will try to keep it as simple as I can. But you gotta have patience.)
A person who is a guy thinks he’s the body, gets connected to another person, who’s another body for him, and has labeled her as her “gf” and himself as the “bf”. So now “the guy” became the “bf”. Now, what is this bf again? (it’s pretty fascinating if you can catch it)
If, hypothetically, all the memories of the girl, from the very first date up until now are evaporated from the guy’s mind, then where’s the bf now? (This is pretty deep stuff, so read it again slowly.)
It implies the fact that the bf is actually nothing but the memories of his gf. Savvy? Without remembering who her lady was, there will be no bf left of the guy. So, this game of life actually revolves around memories. All our thoughts are based on our memories.
Game of Memories
What are emotions now? Why does our energy pump up sometimes? Again, memories. We call it by different names like love, hate, etc, etc but ultimately, it’s nothing but memories. You will get all excited and start jumping and screaming if you see your favorite actor walking next to you. Why?
Because you have some memories of that particular actor stored in you which triggered positive feelings earlier. So now you associate those feelings with the actor.
Likewise, if you see your enemy, who cheated you and cost you your career, then you will become all red and furious because of the memory you have stored in your mind of him kicking you in the gut.
You will let go of your feelings the moment that memory vaporizes. It might sound weird at first, but it does make sense if you think about it, calmly.
The body that calls himself the “bf”, and the body that call herself the “gf”, are based on the memories they both have stored of each other respectively.
But the problem is these memories are different for both of them. What one felt for another (or any situation) need not be the exact same for the other partner. Once these memories become different then clashes and conflicts are inevitable and bound to happen.
The Defect In Memory
Until one of them sees the other person, completely detached from his memory, exactly the way he/she is, the problems will keep increasing.
We have got two options here; one is looking through the memory and the other is what I just told you. What we need to understand here is that memories can be deceiving.
Memories are not what the other person really is, but our very own interpretations about the other person (or any situation) which may or may not be accurate.
These memories get filtered because everyone will interpret them the way they have been brought up. You will see the other person the way you have seen things right from your childhood, which may be entirely different from reality.
Two bodies can actually never have conflicts with each other. All the problems arise when those bodies associate themselves with their memories. And we are responsible for that.
People say they love each other based on the good memories they have of the other person (which I am assuming is much more than the bad memories), but what happens after marriage? If they can keep up with the good experiences, well and good, but if the number of bad experiences grows exponentially it ultimately results in a divorce or worse.
Looking at the Reality from your Memories is not Spirituality
Once your basics become strong and you start understanding these fundamentals of life, then “ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough and ain’t no river wide enough to keep me from getting to you.” (Thanks Marvin!)
Once you start seeing things as it is instead of seeing it from your memories, things become a whole lot SIMPLER. Even real love is not possible through memories. It may be temporarily based on the good experiences you have, provided by the other person.
But if the same person starts giving you negative experiences then we will start looking for someone else who will help us make some positive memories and the cycle repeats.
Have you guys ever experienced real happiness? I will tell you when you are actually happy. The moment you forget yourself.
That’s when we are actually blissful. Think about it; what’s the happiest phase of yours in a day? EASY, sleeping! (it might sound weird, but you can experience it tonight.)
So, what happens while you are sleeping? You have your body, your breath, digestion, and all the processes keep on going, therefore what’s the one thing that’s not there?
T H O U G H T S
Where there is thought related to me, one can never be truly happy. (I am not talking about the temporary pleasures here.)
If you look closer, you will notice that in those few moments where we forget who we are, what we want, what we have, what we don’t have, how we look; we experience real happiness.
Otherwise, we keep running behind pleasures all our lives, thinking that would make us happy but they don’t. These pleasures might give us some positive sensations in our body, which leaves us with a desire to experience them again and again.
And once we experience it an adequate number of times, we want to get rid of it as it shows its true color but we can’t because now we are so badly attached to it.
So the pleasure and pain keep on chasing themselves in a never-ending loop. The same pleasure that was giving us temporary satisfaction has now become a pain in the ass.
We need to have a place within ourselves where we forget who we are, where there will be no memories related to this body, or any other body, where we will just sit and observe things as it is.
The very same atoms that are inside me are inside everyone and everything. We all are connected scientifically and spiritually. It just looks different when viewed from our eyes. Once we let go of the memories, what is it that remains? Our very basic nature.
PEACE & HAPPINESS.
That’s our real nature and there’s no problem with that. The problem arises when I identify myself with any thought or a body and stick to it.
This is the only permanent solution to get rid of negative thoughts once and for all!
PS: I am not saying memory is bad!! It is of supreme importance. The basic point of the whole article is to make you realize the functionality and the purpose of the memory. Once you understand this, no negative thoughts will overwhelm you, because thoughts exist because of you, you don’t exist because of thoughts!
(Ahhhh! Now all that’s finally left for me to say is, “Here’s to the ones that we got, Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not, Cause the drinks bring back all the memories.”)