Why The Law of Attraction Won’t Work For You?

 

A lot has been said about the Law of Attraction. Here we are gonna discover a variety of things that comes in the vicinity of this law—from the secret to Law of Attraction—if the Law of Attraction is real—why the Law of Attraction hasn’t been working for you and how to make it work, the right way.

We say a lot of things. Listen to your inner voice, listen to your heart but nobody quite taught us how exactly to do that.

How can one identify what kind of desires are good for you and your life? Should we evaluate all those desires based on thoughts, feelings, or emotions? Or something else? The whole world screams on top of their lungs to believe in themselves. But what exactly is a belief and how does one do that? So, let’s get to the crux of all those queries.

FLEXIBILITY—Need of the Hour

Before diving into the article, first, allow me to quote ‘Tao Te Ching’:

“When he is born, man is soft and weak; in death, he becomes stiff and hard. Truly what is stiff and hard is the companion of death, what is soft and weak is the companion of life.”

One gotta be flexible to actually live life. And flexible not in just terms of your body, but in terms of your mind, thinking, and beliefs.  

Be open to changing your beliefs. Be open to accepting you were wrong. I know it seems pretty hard to come down the ladder of ego we have been climbing, but hey, that’s what flexibility is all about.

Well, you don’t have to be just physically flexible.

 

The Hole in the Law of Attraction

So now, let me first tell you that I was a strong believer in the law of attraction. I used to think that one can surely attract houses, cars, money, bungalow, and what not using this law when I first heard about it.

But what happened one day made me question this law and the way we all think about it. One of my friends told me that he won big time in a casino using the law of attraction. He was playing roulette and he focused his mind on the number 1. Then he placed a bet of $100 on number 1 and lost. He did it again, lost again. And again. And again. He kept on losing 10 times in a row, and won the 11^th time, making $2500 in profits. (Bet: 35:1)

As he won the 11^th time his belief grew astronomically.

He kept on going and going, and the next time made a profit of $1500, and like that he made a total profit of more than $13,500 that night. Now, he has blind faith that the law of attraction can make him a millionaire the next time he plays.

This got me thinking if the law can attract cars, money, and whatnot, why can’t it attract a simple number in a casino?

On digging deeper into this, I found out that no one can actually beat a casino in the long run. They practice the law of probability, which is always in their favor, which is why they are in the business in the first place.

So now, in the short term, it may look like my sweet friend can beat the casino, but actually, that’s how a gambler takes birth. It’s less probable for someone, who initially loses in a casino, to go back and play again.

People like my friend are actually the main income generator of casinos. They know that when someone wins in a casino, then that winning will lure them back into the casino to play bigger than before, and that’s where the law of probability will kick in to help the casinos make their money back.

Now my friend would be in total disbelief as to what just happened because he had complete faith in the law of attraction. So, he will play again, he will win small and lose big, and ultimately that cycle will keep on repeating making the casinos richer.

 

The Roulette of Life

If you look closely, we all are sitting at a giant roulette table, applying the law of attraction, gambling. When sometimes we win, we think it is the law that made it happen and when we lose, we just say “oh! it’s bad luck.”

First of all, it’s not a law, it has just been coerced as a law. A law is something that’s scientifically proven—that can’t be questioned and which is based on reality. 

Laws like the law of gravity, the law of motion—these laws can be scientifically explained. The Law of attraction, on the other hand, works at the psychological level, at the level of our thoughts. At the present, no device can measure the frequency of our thoughts which perhaps, could help explain the validity of this law.

If we can’t even measure the frequencies of our thoughts, then we can forget about calling it a law. Without knowing the value of the acceleration of gravity, the law of gravity is meaningless, similarly, the current notion of the law of attraction is inconsequential.

Everyone dreams about a bigger house, unlimited money, fast cars, branded clothes—a luxurious life. But ask yourself sincerely—will stuffing your brain with all the materialistic desires actually make a difference, or making yourself better in the work you do?

If you want to have a desire then have the desire of becoming the master of what you do, period. Stop worrying about what you can get, and start working on what you can do today.

 

An Interesting Research

There was research conducted on superstition. It involved a pigeon in a cage, and the pigeon was made to starve.

Now on the outside of a cage, a device was installed that would throw a pea into the cage every 1min. Since the pigeon was famished she was making weird noises to express her distress. She started doing flips. And she noticed that after making 2 flips, she would get a pea.

It became her ardent belief that after 2 flips she would get a pea. So, she keeps on making the flips as fast as possible, even after the peas have stopped coming.

Now, was it her making flips that were fetching her peas, or was it something entirely else? That’s kinda how this law is. We don’t exactly know how it works, and when we try to inculcate our own beliefs into something we don’t completely understand then that’s what makes it a superstition.

 

Coincidence & Causation

This is a very general tendency of humans to label coincidence as causation. Just because the pigeon was getting a pea every time she made 2 flips, doesn’t mean that her flips were causing the effect.

I will say it again, “Coincidence doesn’t imply causation.” Similarly, in our real lives too, just because two incidences happen at the same time, doesn’t mean one of them caused the other. Just because you were thinking of someone, and the next moment he called you, doesn’t mean that it was your mystical attraction powers that made it happen.

Why can’t we sometimes just accept that some things are just beyond our understanding? We don’t have to put a stamp on it just for the heck of it. We just gotta figure out how can we give our best shot in a particular situation.

Firstly, we gotta accept the reality, that some things are out of our control. If you apply for a job in a particular company, then getting recruited or not is beyond your direct control.

Now, once you accept this, you can direct your energy in the areas where you have control, in a better way. You can improve your skills and work on your speaking ability and things like that, which can actually make a difference.

Unless we actually make a distinction between what is in our control and what isn’t, we won’t be able to figure out the best plausible way to act in a particular situation. Now let’s discuss the steps people usually follow while practicing the Law of Attraction.

 

#1 ASK

It all starts with asking. Asking what? Our desires. Where do our desires come from? From our thoughts. Simple so far. But now the question arises, which thoughts should we convert into desires? We get more than 50k thoughts daily, approximately.

It’s like you are standing on a railway platform, and you have more than 50k trains zooming past you, and you have to decide which train to step onto, that will lead you to your destination.

So how can one choose and know that it is the right decision? Some people say, choose based on your feelings & emotions. Is it a viable option? 

 

Feelings are Temporary

If you fight with your wife, then you will have a bad feeling, and your mind will immediately look for options to achieve the exact opposite feeling. This feeling will make the man cheat, drink, smoke, eat like anything, and whatnot.

We need to be absolutely clear that making decisions based on these temporary feelings can leave a permanent impact on our lives, for better or worse.

The good and the bad feelings, both are temporary, and the more we chase them, the more it will make us run in circles. What you feel good about may not be necessarily good for you and vice versa. So, the question remains, how to decide what’s right for us?

 

Act for the Greater Good

Before taking any major decision, you need to ask yourselves whether this is good for you and the people around you or not. If you feel good about it, go ahead. If not, then definitely go ahead.

Yes, you read that right. Act, even if the feeling is bad. If what you intend to do is really good for you or society, then screw your feelings and get going.

WE all know we should exercise, but most of us don’t. Ever wondered why? Because they don’t “feel” like doing it. That’s why you need to be mentally strong enough to understand when to listen to your feelings and when to show your feelings the middle finger.

 

Love VS Attraction

Take another example. How would you differentiate between ‘love’ and ‘attraction’?

The attraction gives you temporary pleasure but permanent pain, whereas love on the other hand gives you temporary pain but permanent happiness or something beyond the scale of pain and pleasure. 

When one goes beyond one’s own self, then that state is called Love. When you rise above the state of pain and pleasure, then that is the true essence of Love.

Love and feelings are actually not related to each other, but many of us confuse the two. As long as you get good feelings from your spouse, you say you are in Love, but the very second feelings change, love goes into the dustbin.

That’s not real love, that’s idiocy. Real love is not based on ever-changing feelings. It is something that lasts forever. Real love means to be there, irrespective of what you are feeling.

I will give you my own example. Sometimes I feel good while writing, sometimes I feel like crap and just wanna run away from everything, but obviously, I don’t do that.

I made a promise to myself that I won’t stop doing this no matter how much I hate sitting in front of the laptop for 4-5hr in a stretch—how much I loathe making a futile attempt at creating indexed backlinks—how much I detest seeing mediocre content ranking #1 and 112 other things that constantly conspire to make me give this up.

The reason I can do this is that I know this is good for me, without giving a rat’s ass to my feelings. Had I listened to those feelings, I would have stopped writing the 12^th day I started.

 

Feelings Can Be Manipulated

In today’s marketing world, your feelings are the easiest thing to manipulate. They draw attention through all your senses by making you ‘feel-good’, and now they can make you do whatever they want you to do, and you wouldn’t even know it.  

Take any unsuccessful person. The sole reason for his fiasco is that he listened to his feelings a tad too much. If he is enjoying his work, he is more than happy to do it. As soon as things get a little tricky, which they will, he will quit.

The one big difference between successful and unsuccessful people is that the unsuccessful person will make 10 commitments a day and will fail to hold onto even one of them.

Successful people, on the other hand, will make 1 commitment in a month but will hold onto it, no matter what. Once they commit then there’s no stopping them—doesn’t matter if they are succeeding magnanimously, or failing terribly, they keep moving.

And so should you, once you discover your right desires.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you will know when you find it.”

Steve Jobs (Affiliate Link) couldn’t have said it better. This is how you should discover your true and meaningful desires. Once you get fixated on the desire, now what next?

There are two choices ahead of you.

One is to just keep asking for it as most people do. They will beg God to somehow fulfill their wishes magically with a snap of fingers, which is what they call using the Law of Attraction. The other choice is to work your ass off so that you don’t have to ask for anything and what you want will automatically come to you.

 

World Is a Giant Company

Consider this world as a giant company, where we all are the employees and God is the Founder & CEO of the company. Now, most employees just keep on pestering the CEO to increase their salary, or to give them a promotion. While others focus on the work they are assigned to do.

So, ask yourselves, if you are the CEO of the company, who is more likely to get the promotion?  Pretty obvious, right? If bootlicking and sycophancy are all your employees are doing under the misguided impression of the law of attraction, then what is the difference between them and a beggar? They both are anticipating things without doing what it takes.

And naturally, as the CEO, you are not gonna give two shits to someone who practiced the law of attraction diligently or not.

It isn’t gonna matter how much you visualized getting that promotion. Just your imagination of you sitting in that brand-new office isn’t gonna get you there.

In the end, the promotion will be given to the most deserving one and not the one who just used his power of attraction up to full throttle. (Since God is the CEO here, so forget about politics)

 

The Right Use of The Law of Attraction

If you want to use the law of attraction the right way, then use it to improve your work. Make yourself so competent that you don’t have to ask for anything in life from anyone, not even God.

That’s the true beauty of this law. If you want to imagine, then instead of imagining yourself driving that Ferrari, imagine yourself doing the work it takes to get you there, in a super focused manner. All those who preach about the law of attraction are giving the right definition but are explaining it to us by citing the wrong examples.

“You don’t get what you want, you get what you are.”

And you are your beliefs. Unless you change them, nothing is gonna change. Your beliefs aren’t gonna change just by asking for things or merely imagining them all day long.

The strongest beliefs are that of the beggars. But do they get anything just by asking for it? So, your sole focus should not be on demanding things, but on making yourselves more deserving.

Stop imagining about changing the situations, society, and your family; and start working on transforming yourselves. Once you become worthy, will there be any need for you to keep on asking for things like most of us do?

It’s pretty simple if you ask me—if you want the Universe to conspire to get you what you want, you gotta show the universe that you deserve its help, that you are worth it. The Universe isn’t bound to help you.

 

The IRONY of the Law of Attraction

Look at the contradiction, on one hand, the law of attraction states to be grateful and on the other hand, it is making you beseech. If one is truly indebted and has gratitude in his heart, then why would he ever ask for anything more? Food for thought.

Now, this also doesn’t mean to stop growing; growth is all that matters in this Game of Life.

But to grow and to beg, are poles apart from each other. Not to mention, I am also not saying to stop chasing a luxurious life. I am simply asking you to change the lane you are walking on, to reach your end goal.

You will get everything you want, but not by asking, but by simply becoming worthy of it. And how will you become worthy of it? By changing your beliefs.

 

#2 Beliefs  

What are beliefs? Is willpower belief? Or is it something entirely different? Beliefs can be either based on superstitions or on the basis of experiences.

Let’s consider two people. The first one just became a doctor, a fresh graduate, excited to be grilled in the real world. The second one is also a doctor but has an awesome track record of more than 15 years.

Now the first guy has a desire to do a major operation. His willpower is pretty strong about it, and he believes that he can do it. The second guy though, after doing so many successful operations has no desire whatsoever. So, whose probability is greater to do a successful operation? Obviously the second guy.

There you go, belief is nothing, but knowledge coupled with experience.

People say believe in God, but most people can’t because they have never experienced God. The greater your knowledge and the more your experiences grow, the stronger your beliefs become.

Experience trumps knowledge. Just because you have some theoretical knowledge about a particular thing, doesn’t make you an expert in it. Just like that first person, who did know but lacked experience. Now as he gains experience, his belief will get clearer.

The more you learn—the brighter will be your beliefs—the better will be your actions—and the bigger will be your success.  As simple as that.

So, the focus should be on learning and not imagining the results. Your materialistic achievements are just the side product of the work you do.

If you wanna use the law of attraction, use it to focus on the work and not the side products. But because most of us use it on the wrong part, they meet with disappointment. 

Now comes the final part.

 

#3 Action

Here too, you get two choices. One is to wait to receive and the other is to act and receive. There are innumerable people in this world, who have discovered their desires and their beliefs are also firm, but they never take the plunge.

Let’s extend the example of the second person.

He discovered that he wants to open a hospital in his hometown where he will operate for free. He also has the knowledge and experience to get what he wants. But he never acts on it, which is why his life seems incomplete.  And why is he not acting on it? Because he lacks energy.

We need energy to do anything and everything. And where do we acquire this energy from? From feelings and emotions. ‘Emotions’ literally mean, energy in motion.

But hey, just now I said, you shouldn’t base your desires on your feelings and emotions and now I am saying something else. So before you call me a double faceted douchebag, let me clarify.

 

Direct Your Emotions and Feelings

You see, one can’t simply just fizzle out his feelings and emotions. They are not going anywhere, and besides, that’s what makes us humans, right?

The goal isn’t to get rid of your feelings or emotions. You can’t even control them. But what you can do, is that you can give direction to them. As we change our beliefs—our perceptions—the way we see things—our feelings & emotions also change accordingly.

Feelings are manifestations of our existing beliefs, which makes it even more important for us to have the right set of beliefs. If our purpose is a positive one, they will automatically generate positive emotions.

The idea of building your own brand will give you a positive sensation. Just like the idea of having a healthy body or becoming the CEO of your company or getting a promotion at your job or any one of the 112 purposes you choose.

Once you integrate the purpose deep within yourself, slowly and gradually you yourself become the purpose. If mother Teresa believes in compassion and love, then she can’t have negative emotions like envy or hatred.

You can look at any great leader in history, they all stood for something that they strongly believed in, and slowly and steadily they became their purpose themselves. If you talk about Mahatma Gandhi, you will also talk about non-violence and truth. They are kinda inseparable. Elon Musk and Mars go hand in hand.

Similarly, you need to hold on to purposes that generate positive emotions, and progressively as your beliefs become stronger, your emotions will automatically provide you with the positive energy to chase your goal. Once your purpose becomes your belief, then your body, mind, and soul will automatically follow.

One should always strive to make goals according to the purpose, and not the opposite way. If you make your purposes according to your goal, then those purposes won’t stick around for long.

 

#4 Receive

Now that you have taken the action as well, is there a guarantee that you will succeed? If you are doing what you are doing for the love of doing it, then it wouldn’t really matter how much you are receiving in return, or whether you are even receiving anything at all.

You can get in return a lot more than you asked for, or you may get even got nothing. The ideal situation will be to not think about who’s gonna win the match before even starting to play the game.

This is the actual state of love, where you are acting based on what you love, and not based on what you may get in return. But what’s going on in the world?

The absolute opposite. The outcome is the driving source of all the work people do. The minute they stop getting a reward, they stop taking the action.

 

The Takeaway

If one truly wants to achieve the state of bliss, which is beyond pain and pleasures, beyond feelings and emotions, beyond anything you can imagine, then there’s only one way to achieve that.

Your mind should be at peace. Even at the noisiest place, if your mind is at peace, then you truly experience the state of ultimate happiness.

By noise, I don’t just mean external noise. The noise inside your head, the never-ending stream of thoughts which is probably noisier than the outside.

This is the ultimate goal of human life. The more you run towards materialistic things, the more restless your mind will become.

Acceptance is the last step. Accept gracefully, be it success or failure, happiness or sadness, pain or pleasure, accept it and move on…

 

 

 

 

You will get everything in life you want, only if you are ready to come out of the imaginary world and get down to becoming the BEST at what you do.