Yeah, you read that right. You and only you can change your destiny. I don’t care what you have heard so far or what your underlying beliefs are—your destiny is in your hands only, not in your neighbors’ hands, your boss’ hand, or even in the hands of God. Let me show you how.
“Oh, he is so lucky”, “My destiny sucks”, “God is against me”, “Why all the bad things have to happen with me”—most of us use these kinds of notions in our day to day life blaming our destiny/fate and whining about how one can’t change his destiny. So I am gonna give you a small example to make things clear.
A Short but Meaningful Example
There are two houses facing each other. One of them is a small, simple 1bhk apartment, resided by a middle-class family. The house facing them is a lavish bungalow, that of a billionaire. Now if someone is standing in the middle of the road and looks at the situation of the middle-class family, the first impression will be that of a financially skimmed father taking his 8 yr old son to school on a two-wheeler.
Whereas the impressions one will get looking at the bungalow would be that of a kid who “has it all”—going to school in a BMW with a chauffeur and bodyguards and all the luxuries one can imagine. Based on these impressions, we will suddenly form this opinion that the middle-class boy is unlucky and the billionaire boy’s destiny is awesome.
Now let’s look closer.
Let’s name the middle-class boy ‘Leo’ and the billionaire boy ‘Tom’. So, Tom, who everyone thinks of as the lucky child, doesn’t have any real friends. Every day in the evening he would go and look out his balcony, seeing children his age playing, and would secretly think how lucky they are. He isn’t allowed to go there, because it is below his “standard” to play with boys like Leo.
While Leo on the other hand, who everyone thinks of as the unlucky one, gets to play along with the friends of his society every day. He, along with his friends, make the evening one hell of a show.
So, whose destiny looks better now? If we see from the standpoint of a child—he doesn’t care about money, status, or power; all he cares about is to have fun and play games with his friends, and that’s precisely what Tom was robbed of in his childhood. His dad doesn’t have time for him, his mom is busy arranging parties and other chores. Even though he has a room filled with toys, he has no craze left for it. What can be more unlucky to see a child having no interest in toys?
So his only option left is to play with people three times his age who were apparently hired to keep him ‘entertained’. But will he really enjoy it? His entire childhood will be spent without real fun, banter, and excitement. He feels trapped in a golden cage; where he doesn’t have much of a choice like Leo who’s seems to be enjoying his life to its fullest. And a cage is a cage after all.
So now it looks like maybe Leo’s destiny is better after all who is having all kinds of fun one aspires for in his childhood. That’s how most of our minds oscillate from one conclusion to another, from one belief to another, form one kind of thinking to another.
Let’s give it a new twist
Leo, from time to time, would look at the big bungalow and would think to himself, “how lucky the boy living there must be; I wish I could also have a big house, fancy cars, branded clothes, and imported toys someday.”
Who’s the lucky guy now?
Ok, so enough of beating around the bush. Let me straight away get to the point. And the point is that they both are lucky and they both are unlucky. Their destinies are both good and bad at the same time. The thing is that whenever we focus on things we don’t have, our destiny becomes unsatisfactory and dull and whenever we focus on things we have our destiny becomes satisfactory and bright.
That’s how you create your destiny or I should that’s how you can change your destiny, by simply focusing on the right things in life. This is like a merry go round that is changing as per our own perceptions of destiny/fate/luck all the time. And it is our very own desires that are making it all happen. So, if I say that you can change your destiny—all you have to actually do is change your underlying desires.
Another Real-Life Situation
Let’s say, hypothetically, your partner dumps you tomorrow. Don’t take it that seriously, I am not trying to ruin your hard-earned relationship, just imagine it for a second. So, will you consider it a good fortune or bad fortune? Most of them would be like “Oh damn! My destiny can’t get any worse.”
The thing to catch here is that the minute your attention goes to the shortcomings of the situation—“I loved her so much but she’s gone now”, “I am lonely because no one loves me”, “What am I gonna do now, she was my entire life?”—then you are bound to curse your fate or destiny, which isn’t gonna yield anything.
But all’s not lost yet. Like I said before, you can create your own Destiny simply with a slight change in the way you see things. Start looking at the bright side of the scenario. Maybe you were not meant to be with him—maybe you will find someone better than him—maybe the relationship was taking a toll on you without your knowledge which was making you weak and shallow from the inside—or any reasons that you can think of.
As we change our outlook and point in towards the goodies, we feel stronger from the inside. So, it’s really up to us how much we wanna carve or to what extent we want to change our destiny. Every situation brings with it both positive and negative sides, and here I am not trying to say to overlook or ignore the latter; look at both of them but always choose the Positive one.
You can and should apply this formula in every situation of your life if you actually want to change your destiny. Every person in this world has some strengths and weaknesses. You aren’t gonna find a single person who’s all good and fair in every aspect of life.
When we focus on our strengths we feel blessed, and when we focus on our weaknesses, well you got the point.
The Grass Is Brighter on the Side You Focus on
Take a bird who’s flying calmly and freely in the clear blue sky. Gushing through the wind, extending its wings, and experiencing a sense of freedom in every second. As long she pays heed to her abilities—to her basic nature—all’s well and good, but the minute she draws her attention towards the fishes swimming in the lake and starts dreaming if she could swim like them in the cold waters then that’s where her destiny starts looking all fuzzy.
The twist is that even the fish is looking at the bird and wishing that hopefully someday she could also fly high in the sky and enjoy the view. And that’s exactly what’s happening with all of us as well. Stop looking and whining about how the grass is brighter on the other side, the grass is brighter on the side your focus resides.
You might be thinking how lucky your 50yr old millionaire uncle is who gets to travel first class, own a penthouse, control an empire, and gets to flaunt a lavish lifestyle. But what you might not know is that (if you are in your 20s) even your uncle is secretly wishing if he could have his hair back—if he could also somehow have the energy and enthusiasm as you do—if he could again have friends as you do.
Whenever our thought process goes in the wrong direction, no power in this world can make your already perfect destiny better which has been ruined and maligned by your own self. You create your own destiny the minute you start focusing on what you have today—you can put your energy into creating something good—you have time to learn new skills to make yourself useful.
Similarly, your uncle too can change his own destiny the minute he focuses on what he has—making his business achieve new heights by improving the products and services offered, taking care of the employees that work for him, and ultimately making the world a better place to live in.
It’s plain simple, no rocket science.
Improve your Marriage
Now for all those who are married. This example will make things even simpler and will help you realize how you can make your marriage better in a matter of seconds.
Your spouse does have some negativities, no doubt, but the minute your center of attention goes towards there, it’s game over. People aren’t able to understand this game properly. They think that if they will appreciate their spouse, then it will make their spouses happy.
Well, I have news for you. You aren’t doing any favor to them by sugarcoating compliments. You are actually doing yourself a big favor—you are making your own destiny better by focusing on your spouse’s positivities. It will first make YOU happy and then your spouse.
It’s so simple to understand. Ultimately you have to live with your spouse, so it will bring joy in your life—will make you less angry, will calm your mind, will keep you relaxed—the second you change your sight. There are both infinite positives and infinite negatives in your spouse, so the choice is yours which one you want to focus on and for how long. That’s how you change your destiny.
I am nobody to tell you what you should look for in your spouse or in your life for that matter, I am just telling you the reality. If you wanna keep looking at the negativities of any situation, or a person or your own weaknesses—by all means, go ahead, keep looking—but also keep this in mind, until you look at the bright side of everything, your destiny will be shitty.
But the minute you wake up and understand this game of life and realize that your destiny doesn’t linger upon the outside situations and circumstances but your own attitude and you decide to change your outlook, that will be the moment you change and create your own destiny.
For all these years you chose to look at the dark side—your destiny sucked, but the very second you choose to look at the bright side, and your destiny will light up like a Christmas tree. That’s right, all it takes is that 1 sec of realization to alter and create your own destiny.
WE are our own writers, producers, directors, and actors of our little film called ‘Life’. It depends on us what we choose. This choice is what shapes our life. You choose something good, your life becomes good, and vice versa. So, why waste another second creating something you don’t like?
As the Vision, so the world
Thousands of years ago, a groundbreaking line was said in the Vedas, “Yatha Drishti, Tatha Dristi”, which means as the Vision, so the world. Let that sink in for a moment. What does this mean? The way you see this world, the world also appears to you in the exact same manner.
If you are wearing red goggles then you can’t complain or whine about the fact that the world is appearing red to you. Once you keep it on for long enough, you will forget that your shades are red in the first place, and the world won’t just look red to you, it will become RED for you. In order to change it, you simply have to choose a new pair of shades.
Just like this, if you are not happy with how the world is to you, or how your destiny is and wanna change the underlying scenario then you just have to change your vision. The minute you change your vision, you change yourself; and the minute you change, the world changes. As simple as that. Our vision encompasses our thoughts and our beliefs. Now we have to get in-depth of how and why our vision is the way it is.
Whatever we have heard and seen over the past years has become source material of what we think. All that we have understood and learned was through these two windows through which all the information flux came in. The thoughts only revolve around the kind of information we have fed to our minds. We can’t possibly think about something we have no information about.
So, one thing becomes clear from this, we can’t directly control our thoughts until we control the information which is building those thoughts. And since we can’t act without thoughts, the only option left is to change the input. Until now, we might have input something wrong or false in our minds, because of which our thinking got corrupted and so did the actions we took.
But if you start seeing and hearing something good, true, and positive, then what will happen? Even if you don’t want to, you will get thoughts related to them only. So, to sum it all up, if you want to create your own destiny, start feeding the right information, to produce the right thoughts, to take the right actions to become something good.
You can create your own Destiny. The universe may have given us different raw materials to each of us, but what we make out of it, is completely in our hands.